


one day you will taste of mercy

by secretfeanorian



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, yeah this is basically just a poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 07:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20811185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretfeanorian/pseuds/secretfeanorian
Summary: you cannot heal yourself through pretenseyou cannot save yourself with falsehoods





	one day you will taste of mercy

this world is darkness and soot  
the bitter tang of blood in your mouth  
the stench of your rotting limbs  
some poison seeps down to your bones  
and you cannot breathe for the fear of it

and you dare not move  
for in the night something lurks  
some half remembered terror  
from years ago  
by light it dares not show itself  
but dark creeps up day by day  
and in it you are left adrift

nothing can touch you that you do not allow  
but this shadow slips in gaps  
it carved out once upon a time  
you cannot raise your hand to close them  
you do not remember how  
if ever you knew at all

this poison is in every pore  
and you do not know how to get it out  
you think it might just be deeper still  
some stains that will never go

lightning forks and twists  
like if you can maybe just twist enough  
the gaps might seal on their own  
but you cannot fool yourself  
your desperate lies fall on deaf ears  
you cannot heal yourself through pretense  
you cannot save yourself with falsehoods

and upon this windswept shore  
lies battered and bruised  
your tattered heart  
pulsating frantically  
trying to recall what gentleness  
might've felt like

your only memory is violence  
your only talent, for pain  
you think maybe you could trick yourself  
but the illusion breaks  
and you are left with nothing  
but cold hands  
a shiver up your spine  
and the lingering smell of ozone

instead you cover yourself in thorns  
lightning sparks at anyone who comes near  
and you think you could be content  
but you cannot bury your demons  
you can barely outrun them  
all it takes is a single mistep  
and they will catch up

you cannot run from your demons  
you must turn and face the wolf  
you must face it again and again  
the wolf will chase you all your life  
and you must never turn your back

it will take you years to learn this lesson  
but one day you will wake  
and find you are facing yourself  
or rather  
some specter so familiar you may as well be

and for a moment you forget yourself  
for that moment, nothing outside it exists  
some demon that haunts your steps  
is here reflected in your soul

this enemy could've been you  
so desperate and afraid  
and you remember  
and with an extended hand  
you save yourself

**Author's Note:**

> I was having emotions about Zil'ulma and wanted to write something, but didn't want to commit to an actual oneshot. there are like a dozen thinly veiled references to her story arc in here, but there are literally only 2 people who will get any of them and 1 of them is me, so idk why I'm posting this.


End file.
